What happened when I tried to embarass the hackers

Welcome to my interview with Bella Juaraz!

Ever have that feeling like you are being watched but when you look around there isn’t anyone there? I have a feeling that is what my friend Bella has been experiencing lately. You see a couple of her emails have gone missing, specifically the questionnaires. So I thought I’d play around and send her an outrageous one and see if she received it. If they tried to intercept this one, I'd hoped to make them a bit uncomfortable. (should have known better)

Well damn if I didn’t get this response back and it wasn’t from my friend but I’m very intrigued by the man who answered it. By his answers, I suspect he doesn't embarrass easily. LOL
~~~

Hi Bella!! 

Thank you for taking the time out of your incredibly busy schedule to answer some questions for me. J Let’s have some fun with these, girlfriend! Imagine you are getting ready for a special night out….

You start your day of pampering with a trip to the salon for a mani/pedi, What colour nail polish do you pick? Do you go for solid colour or opt for some designs or jewels added?

Here we fucking go again!  Holy shit, don’t you people have better things to do?  Why do I get all these crazy shit jobs?  I have better things to do than worry about mani-pedi-shit-nail color, like SAVE THE FREE WORLD!  But since Rock said I needed to fill these out COMPLETELY I guess I have to adapt, improvise, and overcome.  Lemme see, pedi, slut red please, and no jewels the guy who likes toes doesn’t want that shit coming off.  It’s a real mood killer.   

Your heading for waxing next, how much do you let her take remove?

Holy crap on a cracker lady!  Who the hell do you work for?  I’ve known foreign governments that don’t torture people like that!  Shit!  That’s gotta hurt and hell if it don’t leave a mark.  Does the skin stay?  Or, do you take that, too?  If Bella tolerates that kind of pain, damn, we just might recruit her.  That’s one tough broad!  Ouch! But what the hay if you’re going to endure that kind of pain might as well take that gorilla shit all the way off.  Public Service Announcement:  Your guy would appreciate it ladies.

    Often the hardest decision is what to wear. Do you reach for leather, denim or silk?

What the hell is this the fashion channel?  Do you want pictures? Actually I reach for camouflage.  But Bella?  Last time I saw her she was in all the above.  Leather boots, blue jeans (nice ass by the way) and a silk blouse. 

As humans our sense of smell is an incredible trigger. Do you like to wear a fragrance or rely on your shampoo and hair products? Would you skip all that and let allow your natural scent to shine though?

Hehe, before or after a workout?  I can do her either way, baby.  If you want my natural scent after a workout you’re a sick freak and that might be okay in some circles. I ain’t against no one’s kink, if it’s yours go for it.  As for all you ladies reading this out there, in the name of all that’s sacred, clean up please. Pay attention to the details. Nice but not overwhelming perfume because no guy wants to feel like he’s next to feral hog.  For chrissakes!  Clean up before you greet your guy.  I don’t want to be reminded of the smelly bastards I have to work with every day.

The finishing touch is jewelry what do you choose… Tiara? Necklace? Toe rings?

Now we're talking!  Put that toe ring on honey and let me see you flaunt it in a sexy pair of sandals.  That fucking Tiara ain’t doing nothing but making you look downright re-re.  Next thing I know you’ll want to eat the fucking crayons and lick the windows.

   What would be your first choice of destination for your night of decadence and overindulgence?

Am I being mind fucked here?  Who the hell wrote this shit? Do you have any idea what kinds of images you’re planting in my head?  Holy shit!  Mrs. Master Chief will be in for the ride of her life tonight.  You know I’m supposed to be talking about Bella, but who the fuck knows what’s in that twisted head of hers.  For me DECADENCE baby!  I want to savor every second.  Let me dip you in chocolate and lick it off!

A woman always carries the essentials in her clutch purse. What’s in yours?

 

Okay now you’ve just deflated my –ah-hem- ego.  I don’t carry a purse and I don’t give a fuck what anyone says, that man bag shit is a lot of horseshit.  Why the fuck would a woman want to be seen with a man who’s carrying a purse?  Carry a fucking wallet or don’t carry the shit!  For me, it’s simple my keys, my wallet (with money because no woman of mine pays for shit another load of bullshit) and the pocket knife my grandpappy gave me. 

 

    Let’s get a little more personal ;) What do you have in your night table drawer for toys?

What kind of fuckery goes on here?  I don’t need the assistance of electronic devices – yet and so far, thank goodness, I don’t need the assistance of a little blue pill.  My hands, mouth and dick work just fine and I’ll bet I can make you scream louder than any toy you can play with. 

Do you have any hard limits?

Well you can’t cut my dick off.  That’s pretty huge for me.  No knife play. But as for the rest of it, I’ve probably got a better imagination than you do.  I’ve forgotten more evil shit than I’ll bet you could dream up. Let’s find out, shall we?   

How do you feel about biting?

    If it bites me first all bets are off!  I’m biting back.  I don’t give a fuck who you are, dog, cat, cobra, whatever.  I will bite you back and take your fucking head with me.  Now if you talking little love nibbles, well, that’s okay.  Nibble away, baby

    As a former military soldier, do you have a point where you consider the night has gotten “out of hand”?

 

That would be Navy, sugar, not Army.  Navy kicks Army’s ass every time.  I guess if you blow up the Admiral’s house then the night probably got out of hand.  If you declare war on a small town, depending on the circumstance, that might be going a little too far.  If you kidnap a camel from the circus and leave it in the Commodore’s garage knee deep in camel shit and shave a FIVE on its ass, that’s just boys being boys.  I guess it depends on your point of view.

The next morning….do you want breakfast in bed or pick up where you left off the night before?

What the hell? Eat at the fucking table, with a knife, fork and a napkin unless you can’t get out of bed.  And if you can’t get out of bed then you ani’t fucking around, literally.  Bed is for two things sleeping and fucking.  No TV, no food, no bullshit.  Let’s sleep or fuck or both.  So I guess this means I’ve got your wake up call.  

~~~

I think I'm the one with pink cheeks this time ;) and I'm a little giggly because he called me "sugar". LOL

Bella's third book from the Black Ops Brotherhood, Dominant Deception is available through Siren Publishing. 

Navy SEAL Captain Jack “Rock” O’Malley is playing a deadly computer game with a hidden enemy. Jack must look outside his SEALs to an unlikely savior. Anna Santiago keeps her head down as a quiet system administrator hiding a painful past. Anna buried her outgoing, confident personality along with her husband and daughter. Jack sees behind the glasses and is drawn to the irresistible Anna. Both fight the pull of a powerful attraction. Can Jack keep his relationship with the unwilling Anna professional?

In fighting an enemy he can’t see, Jack drags the reluctant Anna into his Black Ops world. They are sucked into a cyber rabbit hole of dire consequences. Jack and his SEALs discover that his beloved Anna is the terrorists' next target, and he is faced with a choice that could end his military career and possibly his life. Can Jack and his SEALs keep Anna alive before the terrorists stalking him decide it's game over?

Dominant Deception

Happy New Year Everyone! I'm starting this year with a new book and a new series. Here's a special peek into my current project. :)

Rock was turning the door handle when Jag grabbed his wrist. "Wait, knock first.”

            “Why would I knock? This is our home.”

            “Because, she doesn't know that, all she remembers is being chased in the middle of a storm. I'm willing to wager she thinks she's still on Earth.”

Six Sentence Sunday is a blogging group started by Sara Brooks. Every week authors from all different genres post six sentences from their WIP or published works. If you want to read more contributions to this blog roll CLICK HERE.